Mothering

May 12, 2012 § 3 Comments

First, one of my favorite sights of the week.  Seeing my kids playing together happily is one of my favorite things.  Being able to let them run “wild” outside in the pre-dinner light isn’t bad either.

Then, I had to share this in the name of keeping things real:

What you’re looking at is one of my kid’s Mother’s Day papers she completed at school for me.  She says some funny stuff in there like “The smartest thing my mother has ever told me is that I’m smart!”, but I did feel convicted over my oft seen impatience when I read “What’s one thing you think your mom should do less of?” and she said, “yelling at me, my brother, and sisters.”  OUCH!!!! And, how about “What’s one thing you think your mom should do more of?” answered “Spending time with us”?? Ouch, again! Nothing like kids to tell you how they feel! Now, what to do with this information?? We’ve already had a pretty good conversation about how she feels, but I’d like more, and will pursue those.

I think it’s so interesting (and frightening) that I’m going to affect  my kids differently b/c they are all, in fact, different! To one child, I may be able to express frustration  with a raised voice without doing damage, but doing that with another could shut them down.  I feel a responsibility to parent  my four differently, as individuals, but I can only do what I can do.  And sometimes, I just walk around feeling like a huge failure (like right after reading this sheet).  This parenting thing is no joke.  I’m hoping that admitting my failures goes a long way.  And then, since I’m usually yelling and being “angrey” when my children are acting less like friends and more like my enemies (trashing their straightened-by-me drawers,  demanding service with no gratitude, etc), I want to be working on loving the “enemies” in my own house.  To fight be kind when I least want to would be good for everyone I live with.

Some comfort from that sheet: she said I was good a making dinner and she is sure that before I had kids, I was spending most of my time wanting to have kids.  So, she at least knows she’s wanted!  But, seriously, I never could have known how much I would enjoy my children. They are the gifts I didn’t know I wanted, but needed the most.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mother’s out there.  In honor:

::this story

::requested this from the library

::a picture into the worry of a soon-to-be mother’s mind

::a potential mother’s day treat?

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§ 3 Responses to Mothering

  • ellie campbell says:

    I read Bringing up Bebe a few weeks ago then gave it to Susan for her to read too. Overall, I enjoyed it. The author definitely annoyed me more than a few times but I was glad to have read it. The French seem to have figured out how to deal with the issues that I find super frustrating about kids so there are a few things that I am hoping to incorporate into my parenting style. I’d be interested in hearing what you thought about it too!

    By the way, that is a terrible assignment to give a kid on Mothers Day!!! A few of those questions are so mean! They can’t possibly answer them in a way that wouldn’t break your heart! Ouch indeed!

  • Elena says:

    Your little Mother’s Day survey made me laugh out loud and then later that night I received my own little “verbal survey” from Silas. We were eating w/ my parents and he prayed, “Dear Lord please help mommy to be happy tomorrow so she doesn’t get so frustrated and angry. Amen.” Wow–at least I’m getting some intercession from my own kids on that issue! :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts on parenting. It’s nice to be able to empathize w/ you. :)

  • Cammie says:

    I remember getting these little survey papers from Nathan and Jacqueline and I also remember an older and wiser mother telling me that there is nothing I can do to put them outside of the reach of God; this is a true comfort to me. There are times when all they see is my sin nature and I look back and think “man, I should have handled that differently”; but there are other times when it is so obvious that God is showing them grace through me and I can’t believe the “wise words” coming out of my mouth. Every good thing comes from above, even well behaved, well adjusted, well loved children.

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